Change is Not Easy

I am a very lucky woman and have three families.  I have my regular family who are so amazing, supportive and wonderful.  I have my work family who I have made the most awesome friends from.  They check on me, take care of me, and make sure I have what I need.  I also have my church family who have supported me, loved me and taken care of me and my kids.  All three of my families mean the world to me and it is very hard to have it change.  But, change is inevitable and necessary.  There just seems to be a lot of it going around lately.

If there is anyone that doesn't know this by now, I am LDS.  After Tom died I became angry and I stopped going to church.  I used the excuse of I had to work on Sundays.  I still believed in God and I knew what was right, but I didn't follow it.  I was lonely and angry and took a path that I shouldn't have taken.

In the LDS church, the members are broken down into groups depending on where you live.  There are regions, stakes and wards.  The regions are divided into stakes and the stakes are divided into wards.  I moved to the house I'm in over 7 years ago.  I never told anyone in the new ward that I was there, but my membership records follow me where ever I go so they found me.  It took a little over a year when they got a new bishop.  As soon as he was called to be bishop I had a visit one day.  The women of the church have what is called visiting teachers.  We are paired up and given 2 to 3 women that we are in charge of making sure they have things that they need.  It is a way for us to make friends and provide service.  My visiting teachers were the new bishop's wife and her companion.  I instantly hit off with them and we became fast friends.  Even when they weren't my visiting teachers anymore, they were still my good friends and still are!  They were never pushy as far as church goes, they were just my friends and I loved them for it.

The LDS church also has home teachers.  Home teachers are similar to visiting teachers.  The ward pairs up the men in the ward and assigns them 2-3 families that they are in charge of making sure needs are met, give us spiritual guidance,provide service, and being a friend.  My home teacher is the bishop of the ward.  He has had many different companions, all of them young men and there were a few months where we had different home teachers, but then the bishop became our home teacher again.  The majority of the last 6 years, the bishop has been our home teacher.  He is not only my spiritual leader, but he is my dear friend along with his wife.

Over the years I have made many friendships in this ward.  Some I would consider to be very close friendships.  It is because of these friendships I slowly worked my way back to church.  That has not been easy for me, but really, repentance isn't easy.  I made some choices over the years that I'm not proud of, but thankfully we have a forgiving God who loves us and we have the atonement. My kids have had some amazing leaders whom my kids absolutely love and they have made some good friends.

Just as I'm getting back to going to church regularly, I start having to work on Sundays again.  That was very upsetting for me.  I recently had been given a calling to teach in the Relief Society (which is the women's program in the church).  It is a once a month thing. I had to work magic with my work schedule and work it out with the other teachers to switch whatever Sunday I'm able to get off so that I can teach.  Back in December I had asked for March 23rd off and was denied due to man power.  Last week my supervisor said we actually have the coverage now and since I had asked a long time ago, did I still want the day off.  I am never going to turn down a day off, especially a Sunday.

I knew there were changes coming, I just didn't know just how much those changes were going to effect me and my kids.  Yesterday our bishop was released.  He is no longer our bishop.  I knew it was coming, it has been almost 6 years since he was put into that calling.  It was time.  I was sad though.  He has been such a great spiritual leader, he had a big part in me coming back to church and he is a wonderful friend.  Of course the friendship will always be there.

Then we had another blow.  I was pretty sure they were going to redraw the ward boundaries, but I had no idea that we were going to be part of the change.  Never saw it coming!  The few streets where I live were annexed into another ward.  What?!  I was stunned.  My kids lost their great leaders, we just lost our home teacher, I lost my visiting teaching companion and the lady that we visit, which is my dear friend the bishop's wife, my kids lost some of their friends, and I lost the new calling I was growing to love.  Now of course we still live in the same neighborhood and we go to church in the same building, just a different time, and those friendships are there to stay.  However, it is wonderful to go to church and other church activities and see your friends.  Especially my kids because they have activities every week.  It is a huge change for them.  I am sure the new ward is wonderful and we will all have no problem making new friends.  I am grateful for those friends that get to join us in the new ward.  None of us will be alone in this transition because we will have each other.  My kids said they feel like they are moving away, but without actually moving.  I think this is harder because we are still neighbors, but not in the same ward!

Obviously the Lord thinks we need to make this change and be in a new ward. He had to do it for me because he knew that I would not do it on my own.  I love where we live and so do my kids.  We need to grow and make new friends, but I feel like a big part of me is being left behind.  Change is necessary in order for us to grow and growing is not always easy or comfortable.  So, time to make the big leap and see what the Lord has in store for us.