Going to church is sporadic with me. Some sundays I just don't feel like going for whatever reason. Today was one of those days. Anyway, I was sitting in church last sunday looking around at all of the happy, wonderful people that I know. There are a lot of happy couples. To be completely honest I have no idea what was talked about in church because I was too busy looking around at all of my friends. Men with their arms around their wives sometimes quietly whispering to each other.
I loved sitting with Tom in church. He was strong and good. It felt good to sit with him beside me and his arm around me. I fit there so perfectly. It was where I was supposed to be. As I sat in church thinking about that I started to feel a little bit sad wishing he was there with me. Suddenly I felt him. I felt his strong presence against my side and his arm around my shoulders. I felt like I could have leaned my head to the side and it would have been on his shoulder. I looked to my left and my daughter was sitting there looking around the room and I looked to my right and my son was reading a church magazine on my phone. It was so real to me I couldn't believe no one else could see or feel it. I was afraid to move because I didn't want him to go away.
Some people think I might be crazy and some might say I haven't moved on. What I say is, I am so blessed to have had two experiences in the last couple months where I have actually felt Tom. A far cry from what it used to be when I would beg to feel him. I wonder if that means he is progressing, or is it me that is progressing? Or am I digressing?
Tom has been gone for over 7 years now. I am ready to find the real thing in my life again, but I can't seem to do that. Is it because I am still missing Tom? Will I ever stop missing him? He was my true love, how can I? Will I find another true love? It is looking doubtful for sure. I want to have those experiences in real life not from a ghost...people will start to call me the crazy lady! Maybe they already do. haha
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Triple Back
I have had back problems my whole life. I have no idea how that came about. When I was in Jr. High, my mom became concerned because I was pretty short. For a kid with 2 tall parents (my dad is around 6'2" and my mom is 5'11"), it was a little strange to have a kid that was one of the shortest in the class. She took me to a chiropractor and had me checked out. The xrays showed that my spine jutted out to the side about halfway down. I went to the chiropractor for about 2 years and shortly after I started going, I grew a whole bunch!
When I was a senior in high school I worked at the drug store. One day I bent down to pick up a bag, my lower back spasmed out and I couldn't stand up. They had to call my mom to come and get me and I was in bed for nearly a week.
Several years ago I was cleaning out our storage area. My stepdad had a lot of books and we were storing them for him. We finally convinced him he needed to go through them and weed them out. We condensed almost a whole room of books down to about 3 boxes. That was a lot of lifting and moving. I was lifting a box of trashed books that needed to go in the garbage and when I put them in the barrel I felt a pull in my upper back near my shoulder blade. I didn't think much of it until the next day when I couldn't move. I actually ended up in the E.R. because of it. Tom insisted on it because I had a knot on my back the size of a softball. It turned out I had pulled a muscle and I was down for the count for a week then too. I actually took muscle relaxers that time and I NEVER take anything more than tylenol. Since then if I sit, sleep or move wrong, it will hurt up into my shoulder and neck.
In between all these times I've had a couple days here and there where I've had pain and problems. I have constant lower back pain, it just varies in degrees of pain.
Last week, I'm not even sure what I did, but my back started hurting me. My lower back was screaming out at me, my middle back started spasming and my upper back was hurting up into my neck and giving me a headache...all at the same time. The triple threat. Oh boy, that hasn't happened ever. I felt so dang old! All I did for a day was lay around, take a nap, listen to music and play on my phone. I walked hunched over like an old lady and shuffled along like I was 90 years old! Sad. I only took a day off work, but I probably should have taken a couple more.
I had to help my son with a school project. That was a lot of standing around and boy, was I hurting afterwards. I will say this, Biofreeze is my friend! If anyone ever has any aches or pains, get biofreeze...that stuff works! It helped my back and when I did the 3day walk it really helped my aching legs. It's a miracle! I also have a microwavable heating pad my mom made me for Christmas...that thing is awesome too!
My back still lets me know that it's there, but it's not leaving me incapacitated anymore, until the next time. I actually got out and exercised yesterday which I haven't been able to do for several days. It felt amazing to get out and move!
I went to church today and I actually left a tiny bit early. I was hurting from 3 hrs of sitting and I just couldn't sit anymore. I have been stretching too and I guess I need to take up yoga. Maybe then I can prevent it. I'm only 41, can we prevent the aches and pains of age or am I doomed???????
When I was a senior in high school I worked at the drug store. One day I bent down to pick up a bag, my lower back spasmed out and I couldn't stand up. They had to call my mom to come and get me and I was in bed for nearly a week.
Several years ago I was cleaning out our storage area. My stepdad had a lot of books and we were storing them for him. We finally convinced him he needed to go through them and weed them out. We condensed almost a whole room of books down to about 3 boxes. That was a lot of lifting and moving. I was lifting a box of trashed books that needed to go in the garbage and when I put them in the barrel I felt a pull in my upper back near my shoulder blade. I didn't think much of it until the next day when I couldn't move. I actually ended up in the E.R. because of it. Tom insisted on it because I had a knot on my back the size of a softball. It turned out I had pulled a muscle and I was down for the count for a week then too. I actually took muscle relaxers that time and I NEVER take anything more than tylenol. Since then if I sit, sleep or move wrong, it will hurt up into my shoulder and neck.
In between all these times I've had a couple days here and there where I've had pain and problems. I have constant lower back pain, it just varies in degrees of pain.
Last week, I'm not even sure what I did, but my back started hurting me. My lower back was screaming out at me, my middle back started spasming and my upper back was hurting up into my neck and giving me a headache...all at the same time. The triple threat. Oh boy, that hasn't happened ever. I felt so dang old! All I did for a day was lay around, take a nap, listen to music and play on my phone. I walked hunched over like an old lady and shuffled along like I was 90 years old! Sad. I only took a day off work, but I probably should have taken a couple more.
I had to help my son with a school project. That was a lot of standing around and boy, was I hurting afterwards. I will say this, Biofreeze is my friend! If anyone ever has any aches or pains, get biofreeze...that stuff works! It helped my back and when I did the 3day walk it really helped my aching legs. It's a miracle! I also have a microwavable heating pad my mom made me for Christmas...that thing is awesome too!
My back still lets me know that it's there, but it's not leaving me incapacitated anymore, until the next time. I actually got out and exercised yesterday which I haven't been able to do for several days. It felt amazing to get out and move!
I went to church today and I actually left a tiny bit early. I was hurting from 3 hrs of sitting and I just couldn't sit anymore. I have been stretching too and I guess I need to take up yoga. Maybe then I can prevent it. I'm only 41, can we prevent the aches and pains of age or am I doomed???????
Privacy
There has been a lot of drama lately that all seems to revolve around facebook. I have talked about facebook before. I'm a HUGE fan of it. I am always on it. I love to read what is going on in people's lives, see their pictures and be able to be in contact with family and friends. Especially friends from school that I have no other way of being in contact with.
One thing that is not good is it has made us impersonal. One lady posted that she found out her son was engaged on facebook! He posted on there before he told his mom...not so good!
I also have been thinking just how much privacy is to be expected on facebook. Of course we have privacy settings that we set to try and protect ourselves from people we don't want following us or seeing our pictures. One thing we seem to forget though, is once a picture is posted or a word is typed it is forever on the internet. No matter how much we try to be private it is there. Sometimes we take our fights and misunderstandings to facebook. There have been friendships broken because of things that have been misconstrued. Feelings have been hurt.
There has been a lot of publicity lately about employers and potential employers wanting facebook passwords. If you refuse you can either be fired or they won't give you the job. The employer wants to see what kind of friends you have and what kind of things you are following.
There has also been a lot of publicity about school administrators forcing students to hand over their passwords. They say it is to protect the school and other students from bullying and threats.
So where do we draw the line? Where does it become an invasion of privacy? What kind of rules do we need to follow? There are rules that facebook and other social media has set, but unless someone complains then there really isn't anything that is done about them.
Now, this is my own personal opinion here so don't anyone get offended if you don't agree with me. Just say to yourself, "She is full of it and doesn't know what she is talking about", and move on. I think there should be facebook etiquette. If you are going to unfriend someone, I think there should be something that pops up where you have to put why you are unfriending them. So when you are done unfriending, the person gets a note saying you have been unfriended and read the note why. Maybe they should even give you an option to like that you have been unfriended. haha
I think that if a kid is under the age of 18, parents should have full access to their facebook. When you are a juvenile, you don't have rights. This full access is to protect the juvenile from friending people they don't know that have the potential to be predators. It will also protect their kid from posting something that could hurt other people or bring down the world around them. I have a friend whose kid posted a totally innocent comment and it got him in big trouble with the law because of pereception. It will also protect them from posting pictures they shouldn't be posting. I think it shouldn't even be an option for a kid to be able to change their password and not tell their parents until they turn 18.
I also think if you have a friend that posts things you don't like, you either say something to them, but then expect a response something like "then unfriend me", or you unfriend them, or you move past it and don't even look at it.
If you complain about something that is on someone's facebook page, you should stand up and say, "Yeah, that was me."
So, those are my opinions. Take them for what they are worth. And don't be shy about the smart ass comments or jokes, because personally, I love them!!
One thing that is not good is it has made us impersonal. One lady posted that she found out her son was engaged on facebook! He posted on there before he told his mom...not so good!
I also have been thinking just how much privacy is to be expected on facebook. Of course we have privacy settings that we set to try and protect ourselves from people we don't want following us or seeing our pictures. One thing we seem to forget though, is once a picture is posted or a word is typed it is forever on the internet. No matter how much we try to be private it is there. Sometimes we take our fights and misunderstandings to facebook. There have been friendships broken because of things that have been misconstrued. Feelings have been hurt.
There has been a lot of publicity lately about employers and potential employers wanting facebook passwords. If you refuse you can either be fired or they won't give you the job. The employer wants to see what kind of friends you have and what kind of things you are following.
There has also been a lot of publicity about school administrators forcing students to hand over their passwords. They say it is to protect the school and other students from bullying and threats.
So where do we draw the line? Where does it become an invasion of privacy? What kind of rules do we need to follow? There are rules that facebook and other social media has set, but unless someone complains then there really isn't anything that is done about them.
Now, this is my own personal opinion here so don't anyone get offended if you don't agree with me. Just say to yourself, "She is full of it and doesn't know what she is talking about", and move on. I think there should be facebook etiquette. If you are going to unfriend someone, I think there should be something that pops up where you have to put why you are unfriending them. So when you are done unfriending, the person gets a note saying you have been unfriended and read the note why. Maybe they should even give you an option to like that you have been unfriended. haha
I think that if a kid is under the age of 18, parents should have full access to their facebook. When you are a juvenile, you don't have rights. This full access is to protect the juvenile from friending people they don't know that have the potential to be predators. It will also protect their kid from posting something that could hurt other people or bring down the world around them. I have a friend whose kid posted a totally innocent comment and it got him in big trouble with the law because of pereception. It will also protect them from posting pictures they shouldn't be posting. I think it shouldn't even be an option for a kid to be able to change their password and not tell their parents until they turn 18.
I also think if you have a friend that posts things you don't like, you either say something to them, but then expect a response something like "then unfriend me", or you unfriend them, or you move past it and don't even look at it.
If you complain about something that is on someone's facebook page, you should stand up and say, "Yeah, that was me."
So, those are my opinions. Take them for what they are worth. And don't be shy about the smart ass comments or jokes, because personally, I love them!!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Life With ADHD
WEBMD says ADHD is a disorder that affects 3%-5% of children, but they think that it is actually more. ADHD causes hyperactivity, impulsiveness, inability to pay attention, bouncing, jittering, etc, etc. It is a mental disorder where the symptoms can be controlled usually, but the disorder is not cureable. They say some grow out of it, but others say that is doubtful, it just changes. Some are able to control it with diet and exercise. Some have to be on medication. There are all kinds of medicine for ADHD. Some are stimulants which have the opposite affect on ADHD kids than kids that don't have the disorder. There are also some that are nonstimulant.
My son has been diagnosed with ADHD (I'm pretty sure my daughter is too, but it is more difficult to get a diagnosis in a girl because it shows up differently in girls). When his pediatrician diagnosed him, he said he knew within 30 seconds he knew he was ADHD. We tried several different kinds of medicine and we have finally found some that was a life saver!! Although, it is not a miracle pill. He all of sudden doesn't have good grades, he has to work at that and he refuses to do that. When his meds wear off, life in our house is NOT easy sometimes. It is a huge battle to get homework done, to get him to focus on getting chores done, constant arguing, talking back, screaming, yelling, aggressiveness, weird noises, huge meltdowns, impulsiveness, constant talking and if there is any kind of stimulation at all, you can forget about going to bed easily. It isn't all the time mind you, but pretty constant. One example is when I take him in for his 4 month check up to see how the meds are working, the Dr. starts talking to him about his grades and taking responsibility for his actions. My boy is looking everywhere but at the Dr. and will say, "I love camping." The last time we were there he said, "I want to learn how to shoot a gun." The Dr. said, "If I have any kind of say in this, it will not happen. I will write a letter to your boy scout leader and tell him it is not a good idea!" I got a good laugh out of that one.
It is a constant battle of trying to teach him how to make good decisions and thinking about things before he does them. He is a sweet and good hearted kid. He loves to help people more than anything. Just keeping him calm is a whole different story!
Yesterday I thought I forgot to leave his pill on the table. I called and asked him if his pill was on the table and he said no. Oh great. I texted his teacher and said, "I really hate to tell you this, but I forgot to give him his pill so it could be a difficult day." She wrote back and said, "Thanks for the warning. Pray for us!" It is good to have a sense of humor about it because if you don't it can drive you crazy!
He got in trouble yesterday for lying. Because he continued to lie to me after I confronted him, he ended up getting grounded from a camp out today. He thought if he was super good today I would change my mind. He couldn't get it through his head that he wasn't going no matter what because he has to not lie. For two hours he literally begged, cried, yelled and screamed because he wanted to go and it wasn't getting through. Add to that my daughter's nonstop talking. I mean literally he's screaming and crying and she is talking at the same time. Finally I called my mom and asked if I could bring my son over for a little while. Sometimes just us getting away from each other a little while helps to calm the situation. Thank goodness for my mom!! I swear, someday I'm going to end up in the looney bin just sitting in a chair drooling!! It is days like this that I wish I was married. Then I can just say, "You take care of the kids, I'm outa here!"
I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. I love them so much and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I am constantly having to remind myself that they can't help it. Their brains are working so hard that they just don't know where to stop. I just need patience (and a massage!!)!
My son has been diagnosed with ADHD (I'm pretty sure my daughter is too, but it is more difficult to get a diagnosis in a girl because it shows up differently in girls). When his pediatrician diagnosed him, he said he knew within 30 seconds he knew he was ADHD. We tried several different kinds of medicine and we have finally found some that was a life saver!! Although, it is not a miracle pill. He all of sudden doesn't have good grades, he has to work at that and he refuses to do that. When his meds wear off, life in our house is NOT easy sometimes. It is a huge battle to get homework done, to get him to focus on getting chores done, constant arguing, talking back, screaming, yelling, aggressiveness, weird noises, huge meltdowns, impulsiveness, constant talking and if there is any kind of stimulation at all, you can forget about going to bed easily. It isn't all the time mind you, but pretty constant. One example is when I take him in for his 4 month check up to see how the meds are working, the Dr. starts talking to him about his grades and taking responsibility for his actions. My boy is looking everywhere but at the Dr. and will say, "I love camping." The last time we were there he said, "I want to learn how to shoot a gun." The Dr. said, "If I have any kind of say in this, it will not happen. I will write a letter to your boy scout leader and tell him it is not a good idea!" I got a good laugh out of that one.
It is a constant battle of trying to teach him how to make good decisions and thinking about things before he does them. He is a sweet and good hearted kid. He loves to help people more than anything. Just keeping him calm is a whole different story!
Yesterday I thought I forgot to leave his pill on the table. I called and asked him if his pill was on the table and he said no. Oh great. I texted his teacher and said, "I really hate to tell you this, but I forgot to give him his pill so it could be a difficult day." She wrote back and said, "Thanks for the warning. Pray for us!" It is good to have a sense of humor about it because if you don't it can drive you crazy!
He got in trouble yesterday for lying. Because he continued to lie to me after I confronted him, he ended up getting grounded from a camp out today. He thought if he was super good today I would change my mind. He couldn't get it through his head that he wasn't going no matter what because he has to not lie. For two hours he literally begged, cried, yelled and screamed because he wanted to go and it wasn't getting through. Add to that my daughter's nonstop talking. I mean literally he's screaming and crying and she is talking at the same time. Finally I called my mom and asked if I could bring my son over for a little while. Sometimes just us getting away from each other a little while helps to calm the situation. Thank goodness for my mom!! I swear, someday I'm going to end up in the looney bin just sitting in a chair drooling!! It is days like this that I wish I was married. Then I can just say, "You take care of the kids, I'm outa here!"
I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. I love them so much and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I am constantly having to remind myself that they can't help it. Their brains are working so hard that they just don't know where to stop. I just need patience (and a massage!!)!
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