Am I Crazy?

Going to church is sporadic with me.  Some sundays I just don't feel like going for whatever reason.  Today was one of those days.  Anyway, I was sitting in church last sunday looking around at all of the happy, wonderful people that I know.  There are a lot of happy couples.  To be completely honest I have no idea what was talked about in church because I was too busy looking around at all of my friends.  Men with their arms around their wives sometimes quietly whispering to each other. 

I loved sitting with Tom in church.  He was strong and good.  It felt good to sit with him beside me and his arm around me.  I fit there so perfectly.  It was where I was supposed to be.  As I sat in church thinking about that I started to feel a little bit sad wishing he was there with me.  Suddenly I felt him.  I felt his strong presence against my side and his arm around my shoulders.  I felt like I could have leaned my head to the side and it would have been on his shoulder.  I looked to my left and my daughter was sitting there looking around the room and I looked to my right and my son was reading a church magazine on my phone.  It was so real to me I couldn't believe no one else could see or feel it.  I was afraid to move because I didn't want him to go away. 

Some people think I might be crazy and some might say I haven't moved on.  What I say is, I am so blessed to have had two experiences in the last couple months where I have actually felt Tom.  A far cry from what it used to be when I would beg to feel him.  I wonder if that means he is progressing, or is it me that is progressing?  Or am I digressing? 

Tom has been gone for over 7 years now.  I am ready to find the real thing in my life again, but I can't seem to do that.  Is it because I am still missing Tom?  Will I ever stop missing him?  He was my true love, how can I?  Will I find another true love?  It is looking doubtful for sure.  I want to have those experiences in real life not from a ghost...people will start to call me the crazy lady!  Maybe they already do. haha