Where has my Brain Gone?

Does widow brain ever get better? Do we ever get our brains back? Honestly I think mine has left me for good and I can't decide if it is still widow brain or just the fact I'm over 40. Those that have hit 40 know what I mean. Once you hit 40 everything changes. It is a strange phenomenon. I didn't believe it when people told me that, until it happened to me. Gravity, wrinkles, Gray hair, difficulty losing the extra pounds. It all seemed to happen over night! Sunday it will be nine years since Tom died, so you see my confusion if I can really still have widow brain.

I am very conscientious about safety. I work in law enforcement and grew up in law enforcement so I can be a bit paranoid. Ask my kids, they will tell you I'm a crazy mom. I check the locks multiple times during the day and twice before I go to bed and when people come to visit it is automatic for me to lock the door and lock my guests in. I woke up later than usual this morning and the only reason I woke up at all was because my daughter had a nightmare. I jumped up with a panic feeling and started rushing around to get my kids ready and out the door for school. I grabbed some trash to put in the recycle barrel. I keep the recycle barrel in the garage. I open the door to the garage and there stands my garage door wide open. It has been open all night and that means my house has been open all night!! Amazingly enough all of my stuff is still there and we didn't have any problems in the night. It is nothing short of a miracle since I pretty much invited the thieves in. All the scary scenarios played through my head of what could have happened and so now that will be one more thing I check multiple times.

It's not just that either. If I don't write every little thing down, I will forget it. I have to put things like call so and so, or go to the store on my phone calendar. If it's not written down, it doesn't happen. I forgot I was supposed to have my lunch with a friend today. Luckily she postponed it and I could pretend I remembered! 

I hope my brain decides to come back to me some day soon. I sure do miss it. I start school in January and I'm going to need it!