Yay...Christmas is Over!

I know I sound like a Grinch or Scrooge, but I am so glad Christmas is over.  It hasn't been the best of Christmas'.  Don't get me wrong, we were blessed beyond belief by secret santas again this year.  There are so many generous people out there and it restores faith in humanity.  I am forever grateful to those that are so giving and someday I hope to be in a position to give to someone. 

This year, as in almost every year, I had to work.  Kind of takes the fun out of Christmas.  I love my job and I love the people I work with, but I would much rather be at home for sure.  I also started feeling pretty crappy on Christmas day.  I was struggling with my voice and I have been coughing for days.  Considering all I do at work is talk, it makes it difficult to do my job.  Then after work, my mom, my kids and I did the present thing.  My kids ripped thru their gifts in about 3 minutes flat.  My mom has had some kind of stomach bug for a few days so she wasn't feeling well and I was starting to get a fever with whatever bug I had.  Yippee...super exciting Christmas.

I ended up in bed all day yesterday.  I don't think I have slept so much as I did yesterday.  Weird how fever does that to you.  I drank and drank and it just didn't seem like enough.  I didn't eat much either.  I stayed home again today and when I woke up I was actually starving and my voice is somewhat back.  I don't have a fever at the moment so that is a good thing.  I am really hoping to be over this soon.  I have a hard time being down in bed unless it is by my choice.  Trust me, since my husband died, there have been many a day where I have done nothing but lay in bed, but that was my choice. 

I did accomplish one thing yesterday.  I paid for my school.  I can't believe it is almost time to start school.  I never thought it would get here, but at the same time it came so fast.  Am I ready?  I sure hope so. 

I also watched a movie I got for Christmas yesterday.  Bridges of Madison County.  I just love that movie.  I love the music and I love the tragic love story.  I cried and cried over that movie.  I have a friend that doesn't like it because she thinks they could have chosen someone better than Clint Eastwood to play the main character.  Honestly, I think that is why I like the movie so much.  He is not some super handsome perfect guy.  He is normal and not perfect.  He is also a great actor.  The pain and anguish he feels makes me feel it right along with him.  And the music is so beautiful!  There are movies where the music almost makes the movie.  High Road to China with Tom Selleck is one of those movies.  It is good and he definitely makes the movie worth watching, but the music is amazing!

I just went back and read over this post...I think I have a touch of ADD...wow, it is all over the place.  Anyway, here is hoping the New Year brings prosperity and happiness to us all!  Wouldn't it be great to have just one year where no one had to worry about finances, loss, sickness or sadness? 

What is Happening?

I have a confession to make. I have never seen Duck Dynasty. Not 1episode or even part of an episode. I have read interviews and they seem to be decent people. I'm impressed with the fact they share their beliefs no matter what. I believe that is part of the draw to the show. In a messed up world where values seem to be nonexistence, people have found something on tv that is decent to watch and they can relate to. Or maybe they just like the hillbilly look. Who knows. Without seeing the show I'm not sure.

Here is what I do know. I am a conservative Christian woman. I am not perfect and I have made some big mistakes so I am not in a position to judge anyone. I am not a racist or intolerant like some liberals say all conservatives are. I believe whole heartedly in the United States Constitution. I believe it was divinely inspired and this country was founded on those beliefs. I am also a mom who is worried about the world my kids are growing up in.

I am wondering when it became ok for a young woman to strut around a stage in her underwear, grind her body on a married man with children in front of millions of people and call her confused and trying to find herself. Yet it is not ok for a man who has already found himself and he expressed his religious beliefs and opinions and got suspended from the show because someone was offended. When did the rights of someone who is not a citizen of this country become more important than the rights of someone who fights to protect this country or legal citizens because we don't want to offend anyone? When did it become a bad thing to say Merry Christmas because someone could be offended? When did it become bad to pray in public because it might be offensive no matter what the religion? When did what celebrities think become more important than what anyone else thinks? When did we decide that it was ok for our government leaders to lie to us and not face the consequences? When did it become ok to violate a United States citizen's constitutional rights no matter what their religious beliefs, color their of their skin, gender or sexual orientation? Why is it all of these people are up in arms about a man from a tv show and yet they do nothing when our government lies over and over again? Why aren't we doing something about that? Why aren't we boycotting tv shows and magazines that promote nudity, violence and drugs?

How am I supposed to teach my kids to be honest if our leaders are not honest? How do I teach my daughter to dress appropriately when all she sees is girls and women showing a lot of skin and how do I teach my son to respect girls and women when they don't respect themselves? How do I teach my kids that everyone's opinion has value even when it isn't the same as yours and to stand up for what you believe is right when people are getting fired for sharing their opinions and standing up for what they believe in?

Our constitution affords us the right to speak our minds, to worship as we choose, to own guns if we want to and to vote how we want. Laws are put in place to protect us not to suppress us. We should be fighting for the constitution and our country. We should be demanding more from our leaders and when we aren't getting it, we should let them know at the voting polls.

I love this country and it is sad, disappointing and down right scary the way we are headed. I hope we wake up before it is too late...or is it already too late?

A Dream

I have a dream. I dream of 5 acres of property. A place where I have fruit trees, square foot gardens, vertical gardening, solar power, wind power, sistern to catch rain water to water all of my gardens and trees. I want a decent sized house with a finished basement to store food storage, a big kitchen where I have room to preserve all that food I grew myself and an extra room for my sewing room. I want plenty of room for my kids to play outside in our yard instead of the street and maybe even have chickens for the eggs. I want to be self sufficient. I don't want to rely on the food in the store that are chock full of pesticides, gmo's and preservatives that I can't even pronounce their names. 

Years ago my dad was making plans for a straw bale house, self sufficiency with power and recycling rain water for his garden. At the time I thought my dad had lost it. It was interesting, but a little out there. So now I'm thinking I have either lost it or my dad had a pretty darn good idea. Someday I WILL have this. I don't know how. I will probably have to find a sugar daddy for it, but I intend for it to be. 

I have always been into canning food. I started learning at a very young age. Between my mom, grandma, step mom and step grandma I have learned many different ways of preserving food and so many different types of food that can be preserved. This past week I have been canning the best sugar free applesauce I have ever made!  My latest obsession is dehydration. I have so many things I want to put in the little machine and dry out!

I know I will probably have to move to have this dream. I have my eye on a couple of small towns that would work. I only attract crazy and married men anyway so I wouldn't be making a big sacrifice in the dating department. I guess I better go count my pennies and see how close I am to my dream. If you know anyone who wants to help a broke sista out, send them my way...I will share some awesome canned goodness!

Where has my Brain Gone?

Does widow brain ever get better? Do we ever get our brains back? Honestly I think mine has left me for good and I can't decide if it is still widow brain or just the fact I'm over 40. Those that have hit 40 know what I mean. Once you hit 40 everything changes. It is a strange phenomenon. I didn't believe it when people told me that, until it happened to me. Gravity, wrinkles, Gray hair, difficulty losing the extra pounds. It all seemed to happen over night! Sunday it will be nine years since Tom died, so you see my confusion if I can really still have widow brain.

I am very conscientious about safety. I work in law enforcement and grew up in law enforcement so I can be a bit paranoid. Ask my kids, they will tell you I'm a crazy mom. I check the locks multiple times during the day and twice before I go to bed and when people come to visit it is automatic for me to lock the door and lock my guests in. I woke up later than usual this morning and the only reason I woke up at all was because my daughter had a nightmare. I jumped up with a panic feeling and started rushing around to get my kids ready and out the door for school. I grabbed some trash to put in the recycle barrel. I keep the recycle barrel in the garage. I open the door to the garage and there stands my garage door wide open. It has been open all night and that means my house has been open all night!! Amazingly enough all of my stuff is still there and we didn't have any problems in the night. It is nothing short of a miracle since I pretty much invited the thieves in. All the scary scenarios played through my head of what could have happened and so now that will be one more thing I check multiple times.

It's not just that either. If I don't write every little thing down, I will forget it. I have to put things like call so and so, or go to the store on my phone calendar. If it's not written down, it doesn't happen. I forgot I was supposed to have my lunch with a friend today. Luckily she postponed it and I could pretend I remembered! 

I hope my brain decides to come back to me some day soon. I sure do miss it. I start school in January and I'm going to need it!