To Stay Home or Not To Stay Home, That is the Question

Something I have been thinking about the last few days is the age old question.  Are children better off when they have a parent that stays home all day instead of going off to work?  Wow, this topic can sure cause a lot of heated arguments and resentment.  Let me start by saying, if you have the financial means to stay home, then by all means, go for it!  I have a high respect for those parents that can do that!  (I say parents because we don't just have stay at home moms anymore.  Stay at home dads are the up and coming thing.) 

When our kids came into our lives, we decided that I would quit my job and stay home with them.  I pulled out my retirement, left the job that I absolutely loved (I stayed intermittent) and was off to do what I had always wanted to do.  Stay home and be a wife and mother.  I had seen so many people be able to do that somehow.  The first couple of months were great.  I was able to bond with my kids, clean the house regularly and have dinner on the table every night.  I took in a couple of kids to babysit to suppliment the income and worked at my old job that I just left whenever they needed me to.  After a couple of months the novelty wore off.  I became a bit depressed because we never had money to do anything.  I was stuck at home all the time while my husband was gone all the time.  I then realized, the one thing I wanted to do more than anything wasn't exactly what was best for me.  Although, I had to try to find that out. 

When it got close to a year since I quit, I decided to go back to work.  My mood picked up and we actually had a little bit of money.  I had pulled my retirement so that had to start over.  That was kind of sad and stupid.  Over 10 years of retirement gone.  Hind sight is 20/20.  Tom died the next year, so God was getting me prepared to be able to take care of us all.  If I was still at home, my kids and I never would have made it. 

Staying at home isn't for everyone.  Some can't afford it.  It is so expensive to live nowadays that it is almost impossible to live on one income.  Also mentally it can be challenging.  Some people need to have the socialization that a job can provide.  I know that was one of the things I missed the most.  Being able to talk to adults.  I was much happier working.  Some parents are single parents and it is absolutely impossible to stay at home.  My mom was a single parent so obviously she worked outside the home.  I honestly think I was stronger because of that.  I learned how to rely on myself at a very young age and I learned how to take care of my sister too.  I learned how to cook very early because my mom would call me and tell me to start dinner and talk me through it.  We also lived in a small town and she was only about 5 minutes away. 

Staying home is awesome too.  The kids aren't home alone, they have a parent that is available to volunteer at school functions and field trips, they are there immediately if needed, schedules don't have to be worked around work. 

In my opinion, choosing to stay at home or not should be a personal choice.  Whatever is best for you AND your family.  And no one should be judged for their choice, no matter which choice is made.