Is There a Time Limit to Grief?

I have been posting blog posts to a place called the widdahood.  This is my latest post on that blog.

It has been a very busy few weeks at our house. Every year we do the Out of the Darkness walk and the money raised goes to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. We do this in memory of my husband. I started doing the walk because having something to focus my energies on really helped me with my anger. The more I learned about suicide the more I forgave my husband and the more I realized I needed to do something to keep others from having to go through this hell. Anyway, that is a whole other post. So, my main fundraiser for the walk is a yard sale. I put the word out to friends, family and neighbors if they want to do spring cleaning and get rid of stuff, bring it to me and I will sell it. I raise several hundred dollars every year for this cause by doing this and people get rid of their stuff! This year is going to be the biggest one yet. People have been amazingly generous! My garage is completely full and I am still receiving items every day. I might have to have two yard sales!
The other day I watched the movie P.S. I Love You. It has been several years since I have seen the movie, so I thought I would try it again. I remembered why I don't watch it very often. I cried (and laughed!) through the whole movie. Hillary Swank is very good at portraying grief. Those moments of not wanting to leave the house, the realization that they aren't coming back, the fear of moving forward. I also have a facebook friend who is struggling right now with her grief. She thinks she should be past the crying. It got me thinking, is there a time limit?
I don't think there is. There are different stages in our grief, we all know that. However, I think we will always grieve to a certain extent. We are always going to feel that sense of loss and emptiness. We loved them. They were a part of us. It has been over 8 years for me and I still cry when I hear a song, see something of his, Anniversarys, birthdays, Father's Day, when my kids do something amazing, when my kids are especially naughty, when my kids struggle with their own grief, when I watch certain movies or go somewhere that we used to go. It doesn't mean that I sit and cry all the time. It means that I still love him and because I love him so much I miss him. I am ALWAYS going to miss him and I am ALWAYS going to have moments where I cry because I miss him. That is why it takes a very special person to want to step into the life of a widow or widower. They know that there is always going to be that place in the widow or widower's heart that they can never fill or touch. They have to find their own place there.
So I say to those that think they should be past the crying, reminding myself too, it's okay to cry sometimes. You are just remembering them and loving them. Just be sure to laugh too, because there is no greater healing power than laughter.