Lifestyle Change

I have been obsessing about my own mortality lately.  I'm 42 and 43 will be here before I know it.  When I was young I thought that was old, but now I don't feel old (not in my mind anyway).  Tom was 43 when he died.  I know his death was a choice, but it is still there, looking at me. 

In January my dear friend Steve Davis passed away just 3 weeks shy of his 30th birthday.  He died from heart related issues.  Way too young for that.  Honestly, it kind of scared me.  If this wonderful guy could die from a heart issue at 29, I could die at 42 and leave my kids behind.  My kids have already lost their dad, they don't need to lose their mom too.  We also have heart disease and diabetes in my family so I already have that looming over my head.

I decided it was time to work through the back pain and start exercising.  I'm still not exercising as much as I should be, but I'm taking it slow and working through the pain.  I also decided it is time to get this weight off, especially since I haven't been exercising as much as usual.  I tried a specific diet.  that lasted about 5 days.  I sucked at it.  Then a few weeks ago I found this woman on Facebook.  She calls herself One Fit Widow.  She was overweight and in a bad place when her husband suddenly died.  She needed an outlet for her grief so she started working out and switched to a whole foods diet.  She lost 80 lbs.  She is now a personal trainer and a motivational speaker and she looks absolutely amazing!  She is an inspiration.

I finally decided I needed to accept the advice of so many people and make a life style change, not take on yet another diet that will fail.  So, I gave up sugar.  I didn't just give up sweets, but I gave up sugar.  No added sugar in food at all.  Boy, that is not easy!  There is sugar in almost everything and I am a sugar addict!!  I know I've said this before, but there should be a support group for that.  Hi, my name is Kelli and I'm addicted to sugar!  I only eat the sugar that is naturally in food and I am learning how to read ingredients, not just how many calories or how much fat is in food.  If the ingredients are recognizable and has no sugar or anything white (white flour, white rice, etc) then I will eat it.  I'm learning how to cook better too.  A friend from work decided to do it with me.  It will really help us both to do it together so that we can tell each other no and keep each other accountable.  My daughter is also learning and she is being a huge help!  My mom decided it was time for her to do it too.

This needs to be a permanent change, not just something I do to lose weight.  I need to lose the weight yes, but I am doing this to clean out my system and get my body working the way it needs to work. 

I have been sugar free for 7 days now.  If anyone knows me, they know how difficult this is for me.  I don't really like fruits or vegetables that much and I am all for cheap and easy when it comes to cooking.  I have never shopped for health benefits.  I have always shopped for what is the cheapest.  It is a complete mind change and a whole new lifestyle.  I am really looking forward to when it is second nature to me and not so hard.  Today was a struggle, but I made it.  I have good friends who are encouraging and that really helps!