My Pathetic Self

One thing about being sick, I have had plenty of time to watch movies and think.  I seriously have done nothing else.  I love mindless chick flicks.  I LOVE them!  I know they aren't true and love doesn't really happen that way, but I really do love them.  I guess I'm just a romantic at heart.  I am now watching Sleepless in Seattle for about the thousandth time and the 2nd time in 5 days.  I could probably recite every line from the movie.  Yes, that is part of my pathetic self.

Here is the other part...ready?  There is a line in the movie (yes I'm quoting a line from a chick flick).  "Someone who has truly loved once is far more likely to love again."  Of course that got my mind circling and made me wonder.  Is it true?  If someone has truly loved once, are they more likely to love again?  I mean, there are a lot of men who get divorced or are suddenly widowed and immediately get remarried.  I know a man who got remarried probably within 6 months of his divorce and I know a man who got remarried less than 6 months after his wife of 40+ years died. My sister knows someone who's dying wife found her husband a new wife before she died.  They both thought she was crazy, but a few months after the woman died, they were married. I've known a few women like this too.  Are they all truly in love with their 2nd spouse?  Or is it loneliness that made them jump in?

What if someone doesn't remarry or find another person to love?  Does that mean they truly didn't love the one they thought they loved?  Tom has been gone for almost 8 1/2 years.  I haven't found anyone available for me to have a relationship with or that I really want to have a relationship with.  Obviously, I'm not going to jump into something that isn't right.  I have had one bad date after another and although it has made for some entertaining stories, it was getting old.  So I stopped dating for a while.  The ones that I would be interested in dating are either not available or aren't interested in anything but friendship.  I would like to have that relationship.  I would like to have that someone that I can do all the wonderful things that couples do.  If I don't find that, does it mean I wasn't truly in love with Tom?  How can that be? 

Maybe it's just because I've been sick.  I always feel the loneliness more when I'm sick.  I guess I will go eat more chocolate that a friend brought over and find a way to get a Sprite (I hardly ever drink soda, but no matter what kind of sickness I have, Sprite tastes amazing!).