Yesterday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. No one could have asked for a better day to remember our friend Steve.
Before I talk about the funeral, I have to give a big huge thanks to some other friends of mine. Friends that I share with Steve. Thank you to Steve's squad. I have been friends with some of them for a long time and yesterday they invited me into their circle and made me feel like a welcome part of them. One of them seemed to sense that I didn't like doing things alone and he asked if I wanted him to walk with me into the viewing. It was such a relief to have a friend standing by my side as I met Steve's parents and said a quick goodbye to Steve. (I don't really like viewings and I don't linger over the body. Their spirit is what made them who they are and that isn't there so their body doesn't look the same no matter how good they make them look.) He then walked me into the room where the squad was waiting and the honor guard was practicing. I enjoyed visiting with them all and I felt like I was part of the family. After the graveside, they invited me to the luncheon with them. That was fun to joke, laugh and tell stories. They understood that Steve was my friend and in their unselfish way, helped me grieve with them. Another friend let me sit with him in the funeral and then let me ride with him to the cemetary. Thank you so much friend for hangin' out with me. I have learned to do a lot of things alone, but funerals are not one of them.
The funeral was a great service. There were a lot of tears of course, but there was a lot more laughter. Steve was a very funny guy and it was fun to hear of the crazy stuff he had done in his short life. It was a jam packed funeral with the entire chapel and cultural hall in a stake center filled. That is a great testament to the kind of man he was. I loved hearing that not only was he a great son, friend and officer, but that he was a faithful servant to the Lord. He never waivered in his faith. Steve's family was so grateful and proud of Steve. At the luncheon Steve's dad said a word of thanks to everyone and then he went around and said thank you to everyone individually. They are very good people and I wish I had met them sooner. I am thankful to them for sharing their son with us all.
The graveside is the hardest part. He had full honors and it was beautiful. I love seeing all of those officers standing at attention in respect. There is a lot of respect given to folding the flag and giving the grieving family the flag and the smokey hat. I was sobbing and Steve's parents were smiling with pride.
A week ago I started writing a poem about Steve. I got about 3/4 of the way done and hit a road block. I had an absolute blank mind. I sat and stared, thought, slept on it and walked away from it. Still nothing. I so wanted to have it done before the funeral, but writer's block stood in my way. I finally finished it last night. It may be simple and not what a professional poet would write, but it comes from the heart and I hope it gives some insight into what kind of man Steve was.
Friend
How do you describe a friend?
A contagious smile,
And a kind and generous heart.
A great love of life,
And someone who goes the extra mile.
A big family guy
And a gentle giant.
A simple and funny guy,
Who loved to give bear hugs
And was always a constant.
Extremely loyal.
A prankster and a joker,
A strong and faithful servant.
A life dedicated to service,
And a really hard worker.
Now dear friend, the time has come,
Your journey on earth is done.
We smile and laugh through our tears
Knowing this is only temporary,
And that your life has only truly begun.
Your friend
Kelli Beday
February 3, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Stuff
I have had a lot of stuff on my mind the last several days. I guess it would be the last couple of weeks. I'm so tired of death and sickness. Can we please just have some happy times now?
My sister lost her baby a couple of weeks ago. She was so sad, of course, and I was sad for her and her husband and kiddos. Having a baby growing inside you and then having it die is traumatic. They are doing well though. They have their beliefs and their faith and that is getting them through.
My friend Steve passed away last Friday. It was sudden, unexpected and sad. He was only 29 years old. I've been in contact with a couple of his squad mates who are also friends. They are doing well, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about them. The funeral is Saturday. I hate funerals, I really do. And I hate going to those kind of things by myself. You would think after 8 years I would be past that. I'm not.
Another friend lost her dad on the same day. It's hard to lose a parent. I lost my stepdad 10 years ago. That was hard even though it was a blessing for him since he had been sick for a long time. Doesn't make it easier. I dread the day when I will lose my parents and stepmom.
Someone I know lost their grandma, another friend lost their grandpa.
A friend had a mini stroke, another girl I know had appendicitis. Sheesh...enough already!
I did have a friend have a baby a couple weeks ago, so that is happy news. There are more babies that are due in the next couple of weeks. It's time for the happy and joyful things to happen!
I have a purse order I need to get done, a craft fair coming up a week from Sunday, a poem I have half way done about my friend Steve and I'm stuck with writer's block, designs for new purses I want to try, I want to start exercising again, but I'm afraid to, my son's broken phone and the replacement phone was broken too. You see, just a lot of stuff!! Can someone turn it off???????
My sister lost her baby a couple of weeks ago. She was so sad, of course, and I was sad for her and her husband and kiddos. Having a baby growing inside you and then having it die is traumatic. They are doing well though. They have their beliefs and their faith and that is getting them through.
My friend Steve passed away last Friday. It was sudden, unexpected and sad. He was only 29 years old. I've been in contact with a couple of his squad mates who are also friends. They are doing well, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about them. The funeral is Saturday. I hate funerals, I really do. And I hate going to those kind of things by myself. You would think after 8 years I would be past that. I'm not.
Another friend lost her dad on the same day. It's hard to lose a parent. I lost my stepdad 10 years ago. That was hard even though it was a blessing for him since he had been sick for a long time. Doesn't make it easier. I dread the day when I will lose my parents and stepmom.
Someone I know lost their grandma, another friend lost their grandpa.
A friend had a mini stroke, another girl I know had appendicitis. Sheesh...enough already!
I did have a friend have a baby a couple weeks ago, so that is happy news. There are more babies that are due in the next couple of weeks. It's time for the happy and joyful things to happen!
I have a purse order I need to get done, a craft fair coming up a week from Sunday, a poem I have half way done about my friend Steve and I'm stuck with writer's block, designs for new purses I want to try, I want to start exercising again, but I'm afraid to, my son's broken phone and the replacement phone was broken too. You see, just a lot of stuff!! Can someone turn it off???????
Friday, January 25, 2013
My Friend Steve Davis
Remember all those posts about my friends and all the many brothers that I have? Well, Steve Davis is one of those brothers. I met him through work. I assist in teaching a computer class and he came through that class when he was a rookie cop. I had met him briefly before that, but the day of class, at lunch time, I made him clean out his front seat and drive me to lunch where everyone else was going. He did it without even batting and eye or a complaint. That is just like him. Always willing to please and make people happy.
Steve and I became fast friends. A few years ago, I had New Year's Eve off and I decided I wanted to go on a ride along. Steve offered to let me ride with him. It was great because I'm not only friends with him, but with several guys on his squad too, including the Sergeant. I was excited to be out on the road on a busy night. Well, it turned out there were so many guys out there that night, they were all tripping over each other. We got stuck patroling a 1 mile stretch of road to make sure people didn't stop on the freeway to watch the fireworks. I got dizzy driving in circles! I'm a dayshifter, so I get up super early and I go to bed super early. Sadly, I fell asleep in his car. haha He gave me a hard time about that of course. (He's not the only one I've done that with! I shouldn't ride at night!) It was an uneventful night, but we had a good visit and I got to know him better.
What he wanted more than anything was to find a nice girl to settle down with and have a family. That was his dream. I tried to set him up with my niece, but as soon as I asked her about it, she had just started dating someone. So, I was on the hunt. He's quite a bit younger than me, so I don't really know a whole lot of girls his age, but that didn't stop me. I was constantly looking for someone for him. I even enlisted my sister to help me. She knew of a girl that sounded perfect. We were planning a dinner/family home evening where he would come and she would come. That ended up not working out because of circumstances beyond our control. I have been looking ever since.
Everytime he checked on early for training or court, I would get a msg and we would chat for a while until he got to where he needed to be. I just talked to him on Wednesday I think it was. He's always pleasant and polite. I have never heard anyone say one bad thing about him. He is one of the nicest people I know. He was my go to guy when something big was going on and I wasn't working, I would text him and see what was up. Then we would chat for a while. He loved being a cop and he was good at it.
He is a good mormon boy with great values. His family meant so much to him. Even though he had his own home, it was not uncommon for him to spend the night at his parents house.
This afternoon the news was out that someone had passed away, but I didn't know who it was. He was the first person I texted. Then I texted a couple other guys. I heard from them, they didn't know who, but they were checking. I didn't hear from him and I had this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew. I can't explain it, I just knew. Then my friends texted me and told me it was him. I am devastated. It is hard to imagine not getting those text messages any more, or not being on the lookout for the perfect girl for him. I am sad beyond words.
Steve, I'm glad you will now be able to find the girl of your dreams, your eternal companion, and that you will have the family that you always hoped and prayed for. If anyone is deserving of that, it is you. I know that you will be teaching the gospel and sharing your love of the Savior. You are awesome and you will be missed so much by so many people. I hope you get to meet Tom. You would get along so well! Rest in peace my brother. We will all see you again.
Steve and I became fast friends. A few years ago, I had New Year's Eve off and I decided I wanted to go on a ride along. Steve offered to let me ride with him. It was great because I'm not only friends with him, but with several guys on his squad too, including the Sergeant. I was excited to be out on the road on a busy night. Well, it turned out there were so many guys out there that night, they were all tripping over each other. We got stuck patroling a 1 mile stretch of road to make sure people didn't stop on the freeway to watch the fireworks. I got dizzy driving in circles! I'm a dayshifter, so I get up super early and I go to bed super early. Sadly, I fell asleep in his car. haha He gave me a hard time about that of course. (He's not the only one I've done that with! I shouldn't ride at night!) It was an uneventful night, but we had a good visit and I got to know him better.
What he wanted more than anything was to find a nice girl to settle down with and have a family. That was his dream. I tried to set him up with my niece, but as soon as I asked her about it, she had just started dating someone. So, I was on the hunt. He's quite a bit younger than me, so I don't really know a whole lot of girls his age, but that didn't stop me. I was constantly looking for someone for him. I even enlisted my sister to help me. She knew of a girl that sounded perfect. We were planning a dinner/family home evening where he would come and she would come. That ended up not working out because of circumstances beyond our control. I have been looking ever since.
Everytime he checked on early for training or court, I would get a msg and we would chat for a while until he got to where he needed to be. I just talked to him on Wednesday I think it was. He's always pleasant and polite. I have never heard anyone say one bad thing about him. He is one of the nicest people I know. He was my go to guy when something big was going on and I wasn't working, I would text him and see what was up. Then we would chat for a while. He loved being a cop and he was good at it.
He is a good mormon boy with great values. His family meant so much to him. Even though he had his own home, it was not uncommon for him to spend the night at his parents house.
This afternoon the news was out that someone had passed away, but I didn't know who it was. He was the first person I texted. Then I texted a couple other guys. I heard from them, they didn't know who, but they were checking. I didn't hear from him and I had this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. I knew. I can't explain it, I just knew. Then my friends texted me and told me it was him. I am devastated. It is hard to imagine not getting those text messages any more, or not being on the lookout for the perfect girl for him. I am sad beyond words.
Steve, I'm glad you will now be able to find the girl of your dreams, your eternal companion, and that you will have the family that you always hoped and prayed for. If anyone is deserving of that, it is you. I know that you will be teaching the gospel and sharing your love of the Savior. You are awesome and you will be missed so much by so many people. I hope you get to meet Tom. You would get along so well! Rest in peace my brother. We will all see you again.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Grumpiness
I am fast losing my sense of humor. I was starting to feel better with my back. I was finally feeling good enough that I wanted to try exercising. Last week I did a little short workout. All went well. So, Saturday I was feeling good and my kids asked me to play the Wii. So, the contest was on for Just Dance 3 with both my kids. I kicked their booties! :) I was so proud that this 42 year old woman with a bad back beat the young kids. My joy didn't last long though. About 30 minutes later I started feeling the twinges in my back and 30 minutes after that I was in full blown spasms. The pain was just as bad as it was 5 weeks ago when I first started going to the chiropractor.
Monday I took the day off and went to the chiropractor. They put me in for a massage and then an adjustment. The adjustment actually brought tears to my eyes. I have walked around like an old woman the last few days. I have forced myself to work. I try to stand and walk more, but man the sitting is killing me and the standing doesn't feel good either. When I stand I start to spasm and when I sit, I ache. When I first stand from the sitting position it hurts. I am so tired of being in pain that it is making me grumpy. A friend sent me a simple message this morning. "How are you?" Me, "I'm grumpy." That is definitely not like me. This has made me be grumpy in everything else too. I was mad about my schedule, mad about a mistake I made, etc, etc, etc.
I was going to start doing yoga this week. Since I can't move well, not going to happen. :( I miss exercising. I miss being able to walk normal, walk fast, ride a bike or even run. All the things we take for granted. I realize they have to fix 20 years of issues and it's only been 5 weeks, but really? Back to square one? Ugh I wonder if it's a nerve thing. I guess I will have to ask the chiropractor tomorrow. I really shouldn't complain because I have a friend who has much worse back problems than I do. She has been through hell with it and still smiles and is always happy! She is my hero!
Tomorrow I will try and be nicer, but today is my pitty party day.
Monday I took the day off and went to the chiropractor. They put me in for a massage and then an adjustment. The adjustment actually brought tears to my eyes. I have walked around like an old woman the last few days. I have forced myself to work. I try to stand and walk more, but man the sitting is killing me and the standing doesn't feel good either. When I stand I start to spasm and when I sit, I ache. When I first stand from the sitting position it hurts. I am so tired of being in pain that it is making me grumpy. A friend sent me a simple message this morning. "How are you?" Me, "I'm grumpy." That is definitely not like me. This has made me be grumpy in everything else too. I was mad about my schedule, mad about a mistake I made, etc, etc, etc.
I was going to start doing yoga this week. Since I can't move well, not going to happen. :( I miss exercising. I miss being able to walk normal, walk fast, ride a bike or even run. All the things we take for granted. I realize they have to fix 20 years of issues and it's only been 5 weeks, but really? Back to square one? Ugh I wonder if it's a nerve thing. I guess I will have to ask the chiropractor tomorrow. I really shouldn't complain because I have a friend who has much worse back problems than I do. She has been through hell with it and still smiles and is always happy! She is my hero!
Tomorrow I will try and be nicer, but today is my pitty party day.
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