Friends?

The other day my son was sick so I stayed home with him. I was watching this show called "The Talk". I actually like that show because they talk openly about a variety of interesting things. On this particular day the question was, Can men and women really be just friends? I automatically thought about one of my all time favorite movies, "When Harry Met Sally". To quote Harry in that movie, "Men and women can't be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way." Listening to the women on "The Talk" and their opinions was very interesting. So as usual, my mind started turning and I began to wonder about my own friendships.

I do have a lot of men friends. Over the last few years I have had to really work at having women friends because most of my friends are men. Men friends are different than women friends for sure. Men are straight talkers...at least my friends are...not the men that I date. :) When I talk to them about dating stuff, I get a whole new perspective on it. Women try to encourage each other and lie to each other to make them feel better. Men will just say how it is. I wonder if that's why men sometimes have women friends...they get that whole stroke the ego thing from their women friends that they won't get from their men friends.

I also believe that friendships can be ruined if both parties are not on the same page. It is absolutely imperative that both know where they stand or people get hurt. I've been hurt and I've done the hurting because there was some confusion about this. I have recently lost an old, dear friend of mine because he had a different idea of our friendship than I did and I guess he got tired of me quietly reminding him where I stood. I am sad that our friendship has ended. I miss him a lot.

I have also watched friends come and go because while we were both single, we could talk all the time, go to the movies, hang out, but once a woman comes into the picture that stops. I had a couple of friendships like this. One of them got married a couple years ago and I knew that she was truly the one. I knew it because he stopped calling and he never complained about her! I still consider him a friend, we just don't talk all that much anymore. I have certain friends that our friendship just seems to be to get a different perspective on things. Others, I'm just one of the guys. Others still, I am the one they vent to or the one they go to when they want someone to tell them how great they are. heehee I have friends that will give me advice and friends that will get the dirt that I need. :) I also have friends that will tell me how great I am too when I need it and tell me they don't know why those single men are so dumb and blind or just give me a hug when I need it. I also have friends that all we do is flirt with each other. It's like we practice our flirting skills on each other and then go out and use them in the real world. haha I have also had fwb's.

Lets be honest here, there are friendships that have sexual tension. I think if we didn't admit that, we would be lying to each other and ourselves. Those are the friendships you have to be careful about. Those are the ones you have to decide where you both stand and what needs to be done to keep the friendship without ruining it. That is a tricky situation to say the least. There are also friendships where there is no attraction on either side and I also believe that every woman needs to have gay men friends too. They have a very unique perspective!

Bottom line is yes, I do believe men and women can be just friends, but as with all relationships there needs to be complete honesty.