City Girl or Country Girl??

Lately I have really been missing my home. I think it's the damn heat. It is so freakin' hot and every summer the struggle to deal with it is harder. Maybe it's the age thing. Maybe is just that I need a change in my life. I think if there were jobs in the mountains I would go, but would I regret it later? Would it be the grass is always greener scenario? I am so dependent on my sister and my mom that sometimes I think I need to just leave so I am forced to figure it out, but the only way I would want to do that is to go to a small town so I won't have to worry as much. Of course I would still worry as I should because bad stuff happens there too, but I wouldn't have to be as paranoid as I am in the city.

I have been trying to figure it out. Am I a country girl living in the city or am I a city girl that wants and used to live in the country? I guess I am a bit of both. In some ways I am a country girl and I belong in the country. I love the quiet, clean air, being able to see the mountains when I want, working hard outside, having a big yard, gardening, canning my own food, the closeness of a small community, seeing stars, rain and everyone watching out for everyone else. The things I don't like about country life? Lack of a dating life...although I don't have much of one right now as it is, so I guess that wouldn't be any different. Even though I love to look at the mountains, spend some time in the mountains and smell the air in the mountains, I don't like to camp or fish or hunt. I don't even really hike. I like going to my dad's house in the mountains, but I don't really leave his house when I'm there. I just stay on his property and enjoy the quiet. I don't know anything about animals and don't really care to know about them. I can appreciate their beauty from a distance and I'm good with that. So does that mean I'm not a true country girl?

I love the conveniences of city life. The grocery store is 2 minutes away and so is Walmart and Target. The fabric store is 5 minutes away and there are many, many things for my kids to do...if I have the money for it...which, honestly, is very rare. When we visited New York 5 years ago, I loved Manhattan. If I didn't have kids, I totally would have loved to live there at least for a year just to say I did. The buildings were massive and the architecture was incredible. You could get anywhere in the city without even owning a vehicle. The other thing about the city? Jobs...I have a good job. It sort of pays the bills, has benefits and I love what I do. Most of my family is in the city, with some exceptions, and I have a lot of friends here.

As I write this, I think I am mostly a country girl with some city girl in me. I don't think anyone would be too surprised if I moved to a small town in the mountains, nor would they be surprised if I stayed in the city for the rest of my life. I think I can make myself at home in either place, it's just a matter of how badly do I need or want that change? Maybe someday, when I'm retired and don't have to worry about a job. Then I can go up there, grow my garden and my flowers and just be happy in my quiet...as long as my kids come with me so I can be around grandkids. :)