Issues

Well, it has definitely been an eventful 2 weeks...although, events that are not that fun for sure. I've already talked about my car problems. They got worse...my engine is dead...not just a little bit, but deader than dead. To fix it will cost more than the car is worth. :( I drove my brother's truck for a little while, but he needed it back because he and his mother-in-law were having car troubles too! It must have been in the air or something! I ended up having to get a car. It's not something I wanted to do or was prepared to do right now. I literally was sick to my stomach over it. I have been fighting queasiness for a week now (no I'm not pregnant!! That would take a miracle!! ha!). I hate that I was forced into that kind of a situation due to circumstances beyond my control, but it's done and there isn't anything I can do about it now. I got a used car, 2003 Hyundai Elantra. It's not what I wanted, but it's wheels and it has a/c and hopefully in a year I will be in a better place to get another vehicle.

Now, I need to figure out how to get myself out of this hole I am in because of money I have had to keep paying out. I think I will have to move closer to work. I need cheaper rent, less gas and less wear and tear on my vehicle so I'm not stuck like this again. This was a HORRIBLE feeling having to rely on so many people and wonder what in the hell I was going to do. I hate living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes not even making it to paycheck. I need to feel comfortable again. At one time I wasn't so scared, now I am. I want to be able to take my kids on roadtrips if I want to or sign them up for extra activities if they want to do them. I shouldn't have to scrimp and save and then have it wiped out from under me because of money.

As I drive down the road and see so many broken down vehicles, I feel for them. Some say people need to take care of their vehicles so that doesn't happen to them. Well, due to current economic troubles, maybe they didn't have the money to take care of the issues with their cars. Maybe they were just praying it would last until the next payday, like I did. I think we all need to remember, that unless we have been in their shoes, we may not understand what they are going through and we shouldn't be so quick to judge. If a single man has never had to want for money in his life, then he shouldn't be judging the single mom who struggles to put food on the table for her kids. Or if the wealthy man has never had to work hard for what he has, then he shouldn't judge the man that has to stand on the street corner and beg for food and money. We don't know what got them to where they are. I am the first one to say, they probably made decisions that put them in that place and that may be true, but I shouldn't judge them for it because some of those circumstances may have been out of their control. Mental illness, job loss, etc.

I haven't been able to post on my blog lately because I'm having computer problems. My internet turns on, but I can't open up internet explorer. Everything else on my computer works, I just can't get onto internet explorer. Very frustrating! I have a lot to say! haha I'm at my mom's right now helping her bottle cherry pie filling and while it is processing I thought I would sit down and write.

This week was also tough on a good friendship. He was really mad at me for something I didn't even know I did. I always answer my text messages. I may be terrible at returning phone calls, but I always answer my text messages. He said he sent me text messages, I never got them. He thought I was ignoring him so when I sent him text messages a couple days later he ignored them. He was very hurt and I didn't even know I had hurt him! This is a great example of how communication is key in ALL relationships. Whether it is a marriage, romantic partnership, family or a friendship. If you don't understand something, ask. If you are hurt, say something. We were fighting and I didn't even know it! How am I supposed to explain or fix it if I don't know what's wrong. I explained my side and hopefully we will be back to normal soon. I miss talking to him. :( Our friendship is such that we can talk about anything and everything or talk about nothing and it is okay with us.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I have much more to say about a lot of things (as usual), but I will save that for later. :)