The Games People Play

A good friend of mine called me the other day and as usual, our conversation turned to dating. He is very frustrated with the dating process, just as most single people are. He was telling me about a woman that he was interested in. She was pretty, smart, has a good job and appeared to be nice. She works in a profession where she sees the public all the time and he would see her at least once or twice a week. When he would go into her place of business, they would have nice conversations and things were progressing well. She told him one day that if she had his number, she would have called him because she had tickets to a sporting event. He took that as a hint so he gave her his number...not a word. So, when he started going in to that business he stopped talking to her except to say hi and move on. She didn't like that so much. She would actually get up and go talk to him. There is more than one purpose to this story. First, it isn't just men that do this to women which I seem to forget sometimes considering I'm the woman that this is usually happening to. Second, why do people play games? Seriously! Third, we all always seem to want what we can't have.

The game of love. It's almost like a dance. Remember in Jr. High everyone was so excited to go to their first dance. We would put on our best clothes, fix our hair just right, the girls would put on their make up (a bit too heavy) and everyone would gather at the school gym...and proceed to stand against the wall all night. The guys huddled on one side and the girls huddled on the other. Both really want to dance, but both are terrified. The boys acting like they are bigger than they are and the girls trying to get their attention. When they do, they turn away and pretend they weren't. Then some boy would get up the nerve and make the long walk across the gym floor to ask a girl to dance. They would be the only ones on the dance floor feeling awkward because everyone was staring at them. The game of love is the same. We all do the best we can to attract the opposite sex and then stand and wait. When the man starts to make his move, the woman turns away. She really wants him to make his move, but yet, she pretends she doesn't. I have never been very good at this game. I have a hard time hiding what I feel and think and I don't understand why I should have to. If I'm interested in someone, why can't I say so? Why do I have to play the game? We all seem to like the chase. If we are all doing the chasing, who does the catching and what do you do when you catch them?

We could have the most amazing person standing right in front of us, jumping up and down and saying, "Hey!!! I'm right here! I'm exactly what you have been waiting for and I will make all your dreams come true!!" We then look around and go, "Oh look at that person! I've got to have that person. They don't even know I'm alive or they are already taken, but hey, I can make this happen! They will see that I'm the best for them!" You see the vicious cycle here? They want what they can't have...you. You want what you can't have...someone else. It makes me wonder if we would truly be happy if the person we thought we wanted so badly changed their mind and decided they wanted us back. Was them not being available the ONLY reason we wanted them? Definitely food for thought. It also makes me ask the same question I have been asking for years...how the hell do people get together?? My biggest fear in this whole game? I'm afraid that I have been running from those that scare me for so long, if the right one comes along, will I know it or will I run away looking for someone that is unavailable to me?