Crazy stories

Funny what triggers a memory.  Today a few of us were talking about homeless people.  I'm not even sure how we got on the subject, but we were telling stories and I was reminded of a pretty funny one that I haven't thought about in a long time.

When I was about 18 years old, I got a job working at a grocery store as a cashier on the college campus.  There were all kinds of people that came in that store.  The college is very close to an old neighborhood so there were a lot of old people, of course college kids and then the homeless people.  There was one guy who was a regular.  I'm not sure where he hung out, but he came in several times a day.  He would start the day out sober and after getting money, coming in several times throughout the day buying beer, by afternoon he would be pretty drunk.  He was a pretty nice guy and funny too.

One day he came in and asked me if I wanted to go dancing with him.  "ummmmm....no."  He worked and worked trying to get me to go dancing with him and I kept turning him down.  So this guy who was about 5 inches shorter than me, drunk as a skunk, hadn't showered in who knows how long, about 15 years older than me and homeless asked me out.  Just my luck!

This triggered other memories from working at that store. I had quite a few customers ask me out back in the day...not all of them were homeless!  One guy had skull tattoos and kind of scared me, I still went out with him. :)  Now I probably wouldn't even think twice just because I have learned that tattoos don't always show the true person underneath.  There was another guy who asked me and my roommate, who also worked there, if we wanted to have a three some.  What the???

There was a blind guy that came in one time and needed someone to help him grocery shop.  I was available so I volunteered.  We wandered the aisles and he told me what he needed and I would get it for him and put it in his cart.  When we got to the bologna aisle I was reading all the labels to him.  He was getting confused and finally he said, "Let me see."  "Excuse me?"  Luckily he thought that was funny and started laughing.  He said, "Let me hold it."  "Ooooooohhhhhhh". 

One day I was working the morning shift and I saw a guy carrying a golf club come in.  I started kind of following him because I was a little suspicious and so was one of the managers.  The guy goes down the juice aisle and just as I get there he starts swinging the golf club.  He broke almost every single bottle of juice on the shelf, then turned and left the store.  As he was leaving he threw the golf club.  He didn't get very far...the police got there pretty quickly and took him down in the parking lot.  Pretty exciting stuff for that little IGA store!

So many more stories from back when I was young, skinny and naive!  I will save them for another time!