Sleepless Nights

I hate when I can't sleep.  Somehow the alarm on my stereo got turned on and goes off, not during the day of course, but around 12:30 am!  I can't figure out how to turn the damn thing off either.  So every night I have been having to get up to turn it off.  Usually I can go back to sleep, but not tonight.  I have been laying here for a couple of hours tossing and turning.  I'm exhausted too which makes it even worse. 

All the things that stress me out seem to be 3 times worse in the midnight hours.  Like, what am I going to do about the struggles I am having with my kids.  I don't want to blab to the whole world, but I am really struggling with getting my kids to be honest.  It is killing me!  It is automatic for them to pop out a lie instead of the truth and I have tried everything I can think of.  If anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears because I have run out of ideas.  I worry about them in school and will they choose the right friends.  My son is so forgiving of those boys that are super mean to him.  I love his forgiving heart, but I'm also scared that he will get hurt.  My daughter who is one of the funniest kids I know has to be the class clown.  That's all great except it interferes with her school work and everyone elses.  I really hope she grows out of that and realizes there is a time and a place to be funny.  It's so frustrating to watch my over the top smart kids make choices that are not good.  If my kids are struggling at this age, what is it going to be like when they are 16?  I was told by a woman who had a son with ADHD, that when he was about 13 or 14 he woke up one day a completely different kid.  He stopped having meltdowns, was nice and started making better choices.  The hormones seemed to kick in and that helped him with his ADHD.  I'm really hoping that is what happens with my boy. 

Financial struggles are also at the forefront of my mind.  They say money can't buy you happiness, but I would sure like to try!  I don't want to be rich, but I would like to be able to not struggle.  "Ok, who gets money this time.  They can wait until next payday, I have to pay these people this payday."  That whole robbing Peter to Paul thing is old.  I will say though, I am better off than some so I am grateful for what I do have.

I had to go school supply shopping yesterday.  That was a stressful situation.  Every ounce of energy that I had was sucked right out of me!  I went to Staples because they had a couple of items I could get for a penny.  Then to Payless to see if I could get a good deal on shoes.  $10 pair of tennies for my daughter so not too bad.  Then off to Target to see what deals they had there.  I found a few things, but not much.  I love Target, but they are kind of expensive.  Then it was the dreaded Walmart.  OMG...it was a nightmare in there.  They definitely have the best prices, but I couldn't even hardly get down the aisles of the school supply section!  Even with all of those bargains I thought I was going to have to take out a loan just to pay for them!  Sure, 50 cents for a composition book isn't bad, but when each kid has to have 5, it starts to add up.  Thank goodness I only have 2 kids I have to buy for!  Then my son would find things that were absolutely not necessary and he would say, "I HAVE to have this Mom!!"  Ummmm, no you don't need a mini planner just because it has a page that has hall pass written on it! 

I found a scorpion in my bathroom last night!  I hate those things!!!  They are so evil!  I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of bees, snakes or scorpions. 

And of course the lonliness.  It seems to be a lot more noticeable on those sleepless nights.  The house is super quiet and dark.  Ok, not completely dark because I'm afraid of the dark.  I can hear every tiny little noise.  It would be nice to have a man around to kill the damn scorpions!! :)

These are the things I think about when I am awake in the middle of the night.  It's almost time for my alarm to go off.  I wonder if I can get 5 more minutes of sleep.  That's probably what will happen.  I will close my computer and lay back down, because it is still too early to get up right now.  I will close my eyes and fall asleep 5 minutes before my alarm clock goes off...happens every time!